haven't been this happy for days... finally! success is sweet. piano lesson was a success today! can't believe it. didn't get scolded, except for the beginning technical exercises... what a great change man! hahaha... just can't help feeling cheerful! at the beginning of the lesson i told her about the masterclass, she seemed quite happy... "good, u can learn something even if u get scolded... ..." then answering the question of what i should play... "i was thinking of sculthorpe because it has more conviction than your beethoven but it'll be good if u play beethoven and improve on it" er, something like that... can't remember the exact words. i agreed that beethoven is a better choice than sculthorpe. i seriously think that no matter how bad my beethoven is, sculthorpe is really cannot-make-it standard!

the bad thing is... of cos, got to play beethoven for her. totally freaky! i haven't been practising that... was concentrating on the 4th mvt of op.2 no.1 in case i get scolded again. too bad... luckily i at least tonked a bit on the boston in school. the first two chords were eauuurgh... clink clonk everywhere and lots of wrong notes. hahaha atonal chords in beethoven! "can we be clean?" ok, start again. no wrong notes... but, rhythm not clean. start again. yay! my third attempt worked! no more stopping! dunno what happened but she finally seems pleased with my playing. then we went on to mozart. was so nervous, didn't touch mozart for like a month. as in, seriously practise... not tonking for fun. but once it started it was better... plus the euphoria from not being scolded for beethoven still lingered. yay! no stupid mistakes and stumbles like last time! at the end of the lesson she said now my playing sounds more generous, open and broader. i still dunno why it did... can't figure out why and how i produced such results either. just really want to retain this sound or try to get a better sound... that's the only pressurising part of today's lesson. to continue producing a good sound and not "slip back to the old way of playing"... according to her. sigh. masterclass in three weeks, must work hard! they're not here to care about wrong notes... they need to hear the expression, conviction etc... bleah... all the things i've been missing until today. and now i've got to keep them here!