just reached home... realised a phenomenon in my blog... mostly consists of thursday posts and less of posts on other days. weird. watever... what am i saying??? sorry, the weather is so terrible i can't think properly. i'm sweating as if i've been stuffed into an oven. arghhhh... wanted to do something to my jazz compo but really can't stand sitting here feeling sweaty and sticky through the nite. hopefully i could do that tmr.

tmr... my first saturday without band. feels kinda weird like there's something i haven't done. sigh... hate going for band but hate not going for band. bleah.

this week was another of those weeks where everything becomes suspended... probably cos of recital... and maybe cos i'm running out of fuel. did very badly for guzheng recital... all the xiao kuai ban parts (or prestissimo for those unfamiliar with chinese music) were screwed. once i played a wrong note... the rest became wrong too and i felt it would be quite unmusical to stop and do it again cos it's in the middle of the piece and it would also be worse if i screwed it up again. that would really show how bad i am. apparently the teachers didn't seem to think i played as badly as i thought i did. ms chew said it was ok except that it's a bit short... 15.12 mins... oops... i guess it's cos i timed my programme including long breaks between pieces but during recital when i'm nervous the breaks are not as long. nevermind, i shall find another rubbishy piece similar to the nan zheng gong that i have now and dump it in to make up for the time difference. ms kang said i would start out confidently but after a while dunno what happens and i would become less confident and the music would lose its character. that's sad. even if my technique was bad i could have at least showed some character... that's part of the art of faking i need to master before As so that the examiners would unknowingly think i'm good even when i cannot make it. haha... quite evil. =P

didn't touch the piano much this week... except thursday after the guzheng recital was over, and that wasn't alot cos i was rather distracted by the computer... me and emz were looking at and ordering prospectus. york is crazy, they sent both of us three copies each of their prospectus. one from the music faculty and one from the administration is understandable... but two from admin is weird. back to piano... lesson was okay today, ms ching was more pleasant and encouraging (maybe she wants to give us a morale booster before our recitals?). at the end of the lesson she said she could see how my finger strength is improving after i did the berringer (dunno how to spell that person's name, it's the killer exercises i totally hate to practise). i couldn't really believe it, i always only practise them like on the day before lessons. she actually said that i played night and stars well for the sculthorpe night pieces. surprise! they are supposed to be my worst movements??? but probably i couldn't really portray the titles of the previous movements and i only managed to portray those two when i got into the mood near the end of the piece. for beethoven she said she still thinks i should play with more temperament. and she kept saying... it can be good BUT you must work on your concentration.

haha concentration lapses are back again... and not only in piano man. when i got back my maths test and looked at my mistakes... all careless mistakes. it was totally hilarious when i discovered my mistakes. but also partly frustrating... i kept thinking how many marks i lost because of them. but well, it's just a test and i'm going to work harder for the exams. i must have been asleep or something when i did it... how could i plug in the values for the question by using the values from the previous parts?! and even better... i actually had time to check the paper twice... which i did, but i actually didn't realise i was making enough careless mistakes to fail. what am i doing?!!! i need to wake up.

did a 'true color test' at tickle.com yesterday... was adding xinmin as a friend and felt a bit sian to start mugging...
Brown
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

sounds like me yet doesn't sound like me. if my constantly stoning and stagnant brain is called inquisitive... i dunno what to call those with really inquisitive minds. as for curiosity... only for certain things and i'm totally not a great problem solver... unless you count typical expectated-method kinda maths qns problems. about challenging my mind, i dunno... i like to compose but i always thought of reading books as a sort of escape from reality rather than a challenge for my brain to workout. (as if it doesn't already have enough work to do) hahaha the part about neutral is quite true... i don't have a stand and according to emz, that equals to no character. watever. but i'm definitely not impartial, how can i be, my 'glasses' are tinted.

going to bathe... can't stand the sticky, oily feeling... aurgghhhh... disgusting!