Found this page of sesame street videos (from lancerlord), and I was just telling poot that I was sad they didn't have my favourite song, I Don't Want to Live on the Moon. THANK YOU POOT!!! She found my song for me! And lots of other songs too! :D

Heh sorry... so childish right. Actually I didn't watch Sesame Street as a kid, or in fact watch cartoons... only watched cantonese dramas with my grandma before I went off to nursery/kindergarten/school+daycare. And The Sound of Music, of course... my mum says I loved that a lot, I still love it! Only when I got bored/procrastinated during sec school years or holidays then did I watch Sesame Street! :S Super slow. Yup anyway, I absolutely love this song... actually it's like the only song that I like la. The rest are... 'okay lor' kind.

Hmm, actually the song... now when I really listen to it, it's sort of like an analogy for me being overseas. Like, I want very much to travel and see other countries, but I guess if I'm honest with myself... I don't really want to immigrate. Part of me sort of wants to, but then there are other things that make me hesitate: family, friends, and memories of the place(?). Especially family. With friends, we can easily communicate and keep in touch over the internet, and maybe once in a while when we have enough money, meet up somewhere? But the family is a different thing altogether.

My grandma, for one, would be devastated. When she comes around to my house once in a while and gets to webcam with me, she will be nagging, talking, etc nonstop. And of course every parent will feel sad if their child wanted to immigrate. Asians are very different. Our ties to the family are stronger than, for example, people in the UK... once they grow up they buy/rent their own house/apartment and live alone and support themselves. But it's different for us, usually we only leave home if we get married. Ok la, there are increasingly more people who do move out. But in any case it's not easy also, like I think emz and I always complain that we want to move out but then can only buy flat after 35 if we're single. Unless we strike it rich and manage to buy a condo or private property. Pathetic.

K, I'm drifting a bit. Ya... so my parents will also be sad. I think they are already a bit sad that I don't want to go home next summer holiday and that I choose to stay here instead. Haiz. *Heart bleeding from the guilt* But I really want to travel around leh. And experience how it's like here in summer... otherwise, three years here will be so wasted if I don't make use of the time. Anyway, back to the immigration thing... like poot and I have occasionally discussed, it's also not really feasible to pursuade one's parents to immigrate with them. They already spent like half their life in Singapore, slogging it out and everything, and then suddenly they have to adapt to a new environment. And for more elderly parents whose English aren't that great, it's going to be even harder to adapt. So it's really heartless to make them go through such a big change after they've spent their whole lifetime so far in Singapore... and they'll obviously have close ties to Singapore too.

Haha I dunno why I'm ranting on and on la. Cannot-make-it. I think I'm definitely going back to Singapore after I graduate. Originally I really wanted to work here for some period first, but now I'm really quite undecided. I don't think my parents and grandma would be very enthusiastic about that. Aiya, anyway, if I can't find a job here fast enough after I grad, it's going to make it even harder to pay off the debts. Ok, shall like abandon this until nearer the time to think about all these things.

Went to school today to help my piano teacher flip page while she was accompanying Ruth for her recital. It was not as exciting as it sounds, but this was the first time I saw a fortepiano. But it's not that much different from a pianoforte (modern piano) anyway... hmm or at least I couldn't detect much timbre or sound differences from where I was sitting. After the rectial we (me, poot, ruth, roger) went to have ice-cream haha! Cos it was sweltering hot. Unbelievable... after the winter cold, I never expected to have this sort of sunshine! Great weather... lots of people have taken to sitting around on the grass around campus and even on the vale. After ice-cream, poot and I went to the Central Library to return and borrow more CDs. Haha last lap until context exam liao... must mug until our ears rot from listening to too much music! =D

Oh ya, last night I couldn't get to sleep (maybe cos of that long nap)... and then just when I was about to fall asleep... Jessica! JESSICA??!!! JESSICA!!!!! I jerked awake. -___-''' Guess what, it wasn't me they were screaming for! I can only suppose some other Jessica stays in this same block. I looked out of the window to see a guy and girl dragging an inflatable pool around on the grass outside. Mad. Play with inflatable pool in the middle of the night. And some curious peeps from poot's flat shouted to the guy and they kept up their shouting conversation for quite some time. Sighs.

Haha my longest post in a long time. Sorry for such a rambling post. I was less than pathetic at studying today... current count: 414 pages left to read. ARGHHH. Night. Going to wake up early tomorrow. I MUST make it! (Otherwise waste money come here... ya... ultimate motivation to study man.)