i've never been so tired ever since i stopped working... haha. think it's not just today... it's a kind of stretched-over-some-days thing. starting from thursday, i think. my parents were flying on an early morning flight, to hong kong, on friday. i felt that even though it's a waste of money for us to send them off at the airport (cos have to take a cab back... considering they have to take a cab there too), i should at least be nice and send them off at home i.e. say bye when they're leaving. knowing that on slacker days when i have no reason to get up early (e.g. no work, no school, no activities etc) i'll just keep hitting the snooze button until i'm so irritated by it that i can't go back to sleep, i decided that the best way to ensure i'll manage to be there when they leave would be not to sleep on thursday night.

keeping awake was easy and surprisingly, refreshing. i always got that feeling when i had to stay up late to cram for tests... it's sort of like i can't fall asleep after some time, usually around 1am i think. actually that's just an 'illusion' kind of feeling... the next day i'll be ready to drop dead by the afternoon. hmmm so i entertained myself by listening to my cds, starting from 'B'... Bach. listened to his english suites, orchestral suites, keyboard concertos 1,2,4 and preludes and fugues. then it was time for them to go off. by then i was too awake to go back to sleep but i couldn't do anything cos my brother was still sleeping... unless i want to practise with the 'neighbour-friendly' pedal, but i really think it's not a very effective way to practise. plus, doesn't it just feel creepy to be practising at such unearthly hours?

friday was quite terrible... started feeling lethargic by late morning and i totally wasted lots of practice time by stoning around! sigh, it just explains why i played so horribly at class lesson today. so i decided to sleep early on friday, so that i can concentrate properly today. because of that, i didn't read kk's message till this morning... she was asking me what time the class lesson starts. i woke up at 5 am... (my brother had an early morning appointment with the dentist in hougang to sort of check on his braces, and i didn't want him to oversleep) how do i tell kk that the lesson is at 10 at this time?! but i messaged her anyway and hoped that she'd wake up. later she told me she thought the class lesson would take place in the evening (as it has usually been) and that she only practised at 7 plus this morning after she woke up from a bad dream and read my message. oh no!

and so today's class lesson was bad. cos of my lack of practice, i screwed up all the running passages in the left hand... this is really my fault la, i knew i wasn't going to nail it but i put off practising them until this morning. cos of my lack of concentration, i mixed up a later part of szymanowski with the front... and ended up not being able to join with the next bar. but what to do, i just jumped straight on to the next bar. bleah. i couldn't even hear the sound i was producing because i was too busy trying to think of what notes came next and trying to salvage all my screw-ups. terrible!

after class lesson, adeline, shaun, kk and i ate lunch at burger king... and then adeline, kk and i decided to go for a masterclass by Peter Vinograde at the esplanade. it was free admission, but we had to hang around the recital studio to see if there are vacancies when the registered participants are 'absent 15 mins prior to start time'. fortunately, we got to watch it. both pianists were good, but the first was much better. sighz... if only i could play at like half their standard. ok, cannot set such low targets... perhaps 60-70%?? Peter Vinograde was very detailed and he had so many things to say and teach that there just wasn't enough time.

before the masterclass we went to the library cos there was lots of time to kill... i borrowed szymanowski played by dennis lee (wow, adeline is my lucky star, she found it! so hard to find szymanowski cds...), beethoven's overtures played by Chamber Orchestra of Europe conducted by Nikolaus Harnoncourt (ms ching once told me to listen to it, but i never got down to buying it or searching for it in the library, though i have the same orchestra and conductor's box set of beethoven's symphonies), bach's keyboard concertos 3,5,6,7 played by murray perahia and Academy of St. Martin in the Fields (same series as my bach keyboard concertos 1,2,4!), and lastly Beethoven's sonatas 26 & 29 played by alfred brendel. my first visit to the library in eons and i found so many treasures... haha i think i wasted this year's subscription fee, i didn't even borrow much (cos i usually can't find much).

my bro and i decided to order canadian 2 for 1 pizza... lol we greedy pigs have always wanted to try their cheese supreme. it was nice considering the affordable luxury of $19.90 for two pizzas and free-of-charge delivery, except that something unpleasant made me feel quesy after dinner. three of the goldfishes that my dad keeps in a goldfish-bowl (according to some fortune-teller's instructions) in the living room had died... and eurgh, i had to scoop them out. *pukez* if there's anything i'm disgusted by, it's dead fish. it just turns my stomach inside out when they flop weirdly in the net while i'm trying to get them into the dustbin... it would have been easier if i used my hand to transfer them from the net to the bin, but i was too chicken. argh... disgusting! i mean, i don't mind touching the dead fish that we cook for food and all that, they're ok. it's just this sort of dead fish that i can't handle. haha this affirms the fact that i can't and never will be a vet (i love animals and that was my childhood ambition!).

my eyes are super tired, my brain is shutting down, and i just feel like doing absolutely nothing now. aren't people my age supposed to be super energetic and full of life? zzzzzzzzzzzz