Yet another post for me to lament and ponder about mundane stuff. Nothing interesting, skip it, you basically wouldn't be missing anything except maybe 'hearing' me talk more than I usually do in person.

The other day, Poot was telling me how she felt that the Christmas holiday and her trip back to Singapore was like a dream. She felt as though it never took place, cos now we're back to grinding our noses in school. At first I didn't really agree, recalling how I slacked everyday until I had to make a big rush to finish my final compo during the last one and a half weeks, how could that not be considered a decent period of rest? But later I paid more attention to how I was feeling at the very moment and I understood how she felt.

It's a continuous sequence of tasks to do, datelines to meet, etc. I guess it gets tiring after a while, because there just seems to be a mountain of things to do yet too little time to complete them. I'm quite sure it can't be attributed to school work, although the essays do require quite some effort, because even in secondary school or junior college we used to have even more school work. No, I think the lack of time may be due to the small little things we used to take for granted in Singapore, such as laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, etc etc. Things we didn't always have to do for ourselves. In addition, I've been washing laundry by hand to save on the costly cost of operating the washing machines and dryers in the laundrettes. So it really takes up lots of time. Hmm on hindsight, I guess it's also partly my fault for slacking, and then having to do last minute work, but I guess it's quite impractical to expect someone to work every minute that she's awake too!

It's also quite surreal in that I can't believe it's the second term already! Sighs. Someone should look into inventing some device that enables its owner to live in their own time capsules, to savour the good moments for as long as they want to. I know, impossible and ludicrous, but just let me dream. I would love to live in a world of my own. Seriously. I'm not autistic or extremely anti-social or anything, but I think I have more anti-social tendencies than an average person. Sometimes I just hate socialising with people, trying to be friendly with everyone, going out when all I really want to do is to stay in my room, and yada yada. Of course I could be on the other end of the spectrum, be really mean to everybody, angst-filled, offending anyone who tries to talk to me etc, but what's the point? Or rather, I think I'm just not made to be that offensive. I just can't do it.

I really enjoy having lots of time to myself, even if it's just a short 20-minute stroll 'home' from university. When you're walking with someone, (no offense Poot, since you're the person I walk with the most often) you pay attention to the conversation. When you're walking alone, you get to mull things over, appreciate the beautiful sky, the silhoutte of bare tree branches against it amongst other things, and hmm, it may be weird, but sometimes I do enjoy the cold breeze on my face. Like how today I was marvelling at the sky when I enjoyed my walk home in quite a cold weather. I regretted not having my camera with me, though probably even if I had, I wouldn't have been able to do justice to the breath-taking sight. Sadly, I'm not a professional photographer. At least I can still cherish the image in my mind's eye.

Now that I think of it, it's all the small things like these that are part and parcel of everyday life that may seem very trivial, but that go unnoticed all the time, which makes my heart skip a beat each time I notice them. And makes me regret not having spent more time admiring such things in all my life. But then again, we can't all just sit around relishing the wonders of life every single minute, life has to go on. I guess if I had all the time in the world to enjoy beautiful things, I may no longer find them so special.

Back to the point of living in my own world, I guess it might not be that good an idea. Of course right now, when I don't get enough time to myself, I crave for that sort of life. But imagining being a recluse for the rest of my life, I guess I can't do it. Not after 20 years of knowing my family, friends, and putting up with my fair share of socialising.

Haiya... I dunno what I'm rambling on and on about in this post, but if you managed to survive this post, kudos to you!